#humor

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Patrick Mulligan
over 6 months ago

Pesty telemarketers

When a telemarketer calls me, I say "yes I'm very interested,..just hang on one second"..then I hold my phone just above the water line in the toilet and flush!!....they dont call back..lol.

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Patrick Mulligan
over 6 months ago

Lets all laugh a little..ok?

We all have some obstacles that need to be hurdled..lets do it laughing. I am trying to break into joke writing. Here are a few of my own..would appreciate feedback. THOMAS EDISON WAS BRIGHT. THE MAN WHO INVENTED COPPER DIED PENNILESS. A MAN ON CRUTCHES WAS STRUCK TODAY BY A TRUCK CARRYING WHEELCHAIRS. A FACTORY WORKER ACCIDENTALLY POKED OUT HIS EYE WHILE TRYING ON A PAIR OF SAFETY GLASSES. "AMERICAS MOST WANTED" CANT FIND JOHN WALSH. HENRY HEIMLICH WAS FOUND CHOKED TO DEATH. A COURTROOM ARTIST WAS ARRESTED TODAY FOR AN UNKNOWN REASON..DETAILS ARE SKETCHY. A MAN WHO WROTE A BOOK ABOUT THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE HAS VANISHED WITHOUT A TRACE.

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Marcos Oliveira
over 6 months ago

Quitting in a RAGE

I just read a story about a flight attendant who quit his job after 20 years with JetBlue. He asked a man to sit down during landing and the guy told him to “F-off.” I guess that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, because he went to the intercom, cussed out the passenger, and quit. He ripped off his tie, took a beer, and hit the emergency exit button - and slid down the emergency slide!

I’m not sure it was wise, but what a way to go!

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Patrick Mulligan
over 6 months ago

Still looking and laughing

I told my old boss that he had 2 brain cells.."one was in a wheelchair and the other was pushing"...now you all know the reason he's my "old boss"...LOL!!

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William Agnew
over 6 months ago

My First Dinasoar!

I've been around but my memory is still intact. I still remember the name of my first Pet Dinasoar! haha!

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Lisa Suiter
over 6 months ago

Case Manager

I can honestly say that I had a new experience today,,, I received a call from a very young sounding recruiter, who provided me with this response when I answered the question of when I obtained my college degree: " I see, so that makes you a vintage pre-tire employee." I was so shocked that I could only say the first thing that came into my mind, "that like a fine wine, it takes time to develop the skills that I have, I have not yet achieved the richness that comes from a complete and full aging process." The job that she was calling about had nothing to do with my chosen profession, and I politely declined to discuss the position with her further.
I must admit that at first, I was angry with the question, as it screams age discrimination, I was glad that I kept my sense of humor and provided her with what I hope was something for her to consider for the future.

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William Agnew
over 6 months ago

Jobs like fish in a pond

Sometimes I think I want a perch or a catfish, change my mind and want a tropical fish, or a diamond fish! I've almost caught three within the last three years only two were already snagged and one was only 18 centimeters and was a piece of work, but was so pretty it could have been on the cover of a fishing magazine! One off the coast of Kenya, one off the coast of Italy and the 18 centimeter one was off the coast of Sudan! All liked my bait! A long time ago I pulled in a real beauty. It was in the water staring right at me! This was around the Caribbean Islands about midway between Europe and South America. I kept this fish in my cooler for a long time. One day I looked and it was gone. Now, I sit alone in my boat lost out at sea.

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William Agnew
over 6 months ago

Dream!

I had a dream that I ate a watermelon. I woke up and my pillow was gone!

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Frank Lee
over 6 months ago

Couch bus driver

At Los Angeles ca

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