Stuck in swing shift 2pm to 11pm. I feel no hope
I know I should at least take control of my life at this point. I try to affirm myself with "youre not the only one working these crappy hours so quit feeling sorry for yourself" . But I am night custodian for a school district. Ive been for 6 years and at first, I was hooked up with the job cause I had an in, I was out of work, I couldn't find any decent work. I live near the border btw, and jobs here go to all the non English speaking , or the fresh out of high school or college kid who doesn't have kids, or who cares less if they just get minimum wage. My job pays good well over min wage, plus benefits. I wasn't planning to stay with this job this long. , I was hoping it would give me a little leg up to other possible jobs, I was on my way to Border Patrol, and to Sheriffs Deputy both for Riverside County and Southwestern region. Both fell through due to the pseudo science of the polygraph. Now I am stuck it seems, Ive tried to get into the day position for the District but since we got a new boss he seems to pick and chose now, seniority or job quality doesn't seem to matter, but I 'll post details on that in a bit. Now, my 11 year old boy, has been acting out in school. Every so often he gives me a guilt trip for not being at home when he is home after school and its heart breaking. The only time I get to see my kids is in the morning. I try to assure him I am working on trying to get out and get a different job that I can work during the day. But since I bought a new vehicle, then had to buy one for my wife, and I am paying the mortgage, I feel I am stuck now. I am working on cutting a lot of unnecessary spending. My wife works too but only part time. There is no possible growth with this job although I have skills in maintenance, computer skills, and can do landscaping. But here a certification is required now. The grounds keeping, pfft, instead our new boss hires out of the district instead of moving those up that are qualified. It seems he wants to keep custodians at the bottom and moves his friends in, though it seems. Now I have a 3 month old to take care of. I tried to get into college in online classes but that fell through as well, stupid classes fill up fast here but all the ones coming from over the Mexican border and they get fast expedited preference it seems. I am studying for the A+ certificate but its a challenge having a new baby. I guess I am just ranting but maybe I am looking for encouragement? Or a butt kicking into the right direction. We are hoping to be moving soon but its a work in progress. I live in Southern California, looking to move to Texas. Everyday it seems a struggle to find a new job that pays somewhat the same. At this point I am almost ready to just except a minimum wage which is 10.00 here, just to work during the day, or even propose that I come in at night time and do a 10 to 6am shift but its hard, Ive worked graves before. What should I do?
Well it sounds like you are already doing things to better your situation! I know it's hard, but trust that if you keep working or it things will work out for the better. You sound incredibly strong and I think if you keep up with your classes something good will come along.
And if you do have the option to go back to your last job, and if it at least helps you with hours or has something good that your current job doesn't, it might be a good move while you continue to work towards your goals. I'm sorry I don't have more answers for you, but I think you have a good head on your shoulders!
Hi Samson! First off, I want to thank you for sharing what's going on with you. It sounds like you have a ton of weight on your shoulders and I know it may not feel like it, but it hasn't broken you yet. You are a strong person!
You say you feel stuck in your job. I know this feels awful, but have you tried directly talking to your supervisor? It may take a few tries to get them to actually hear you, but any GOOD boss would be excited to have an employee who wants to better their position. But you may have already tried and it may be amounting to nothing.
I think searching for jobs while you're currently employed is a great way to start. Remember that these things take time. Talk to friends, family, everyone you can and let them know you're looking for work. Making connections with people can help get you an "in" when applying for jobs.
If you really can't stand it, though, you could always put in your notice and take a lower paying job for now. But the issue with this is that you might end up staying for longer than you intended yet again! If you're looking for interrim work and want to make more money, I'd suggest serving in a restaurant. Sometimes working for tips can be a better source of income as far as part-time work is concerned.
Do you have any community colleges or adult education centers near you? You could look into taking some sort of classes or certifications that might make your resume look better, and it's certainly cheaper than getting a full degree.
I know you feel stuck, and I know you feel hopeless. But I can tell by the way you talk about your family that you are a good provider and that you're a thoughtful person. Please don't lose hope. I think it's only a matter of time until someone will want to hire you for a position that you can grow in.
If there's anything I can help you with please let me know!
Hello Samson, first please don't feel or allow anyone to tell you that what you are feeling is invalid. Everyone feels frustration and it is good that you are expressing your feelings. I've worked the dreaded 2-11 shift when my kids were young and I often felt the same way. Secondly, my husband worked nights all throughout my kids childhood and similarly he would only have a few hours if that to spend with our kids outside of weekends and holidays. Our kids would get upset that he wasn't around more often but as crass as it may sound they did get over it and it has not affected their relationship, they are just as close to him now as they are to me and I was their primary care giver due to disability. The key for him was to try very hard to make every minute he had with them count which I am positive you are already doing as you sound like a great father. Our kids are now 18 and 20 and completely understand why their father was gone so much. I guess I'm trying to say that as far as the home front it will get better. But one warning that I will give on that subject is not to let your son see the guilt you are feeling which is hard trust me. We fell into that little trap when my kids tried it and started parenting out of guilt which brought on a whole new set of issues as they got older. My best advice is when he starts running the guilt trip sit him down and explain that it is very hurtful to you when he does this then explain that it is never a good idea to use guilt as a weapon. Ask why he feels the need to go that route and listen to his answer as there may be a reason that you can fix so that he doesn't' feel the need to guilt trip. This worked for us and I hope it will work for you so that both you and your son can enjoy the time you do have together more. Ok, on the job front, I am not familiar with how the school systems work in California but in Oklahoma just about all jobs in the school district are unionized. If they are, have you tied going through the union? Often times the union can force the school district into following the contract and only promoting by seniority. If that does not apply or doesn't work then another option that I would try is to go to the manager and directly ask why you are not being promoted and what you can do to improve your chances of promotion in the future. I know that you said you have spoken with him but sometimes you have to be a bit more direct however you would need to make sure that you do it in a polite and respectful way. I do advise that you keep looking for another job as you never know when something better may turn up. I also encourage you to continue looking into furthering your education. My husband went back to school when he was 44 to get his Cyber security degree and while it is difficult to manage with kids it can be done. He was able to do online classes through our local community college but there are several online schools and classes out there so make sure that you do your research and verify their accreditation because you don't want one that is a scam as there are a lot out there that won't teach you the skills you are seeking and that employers will not accept. If you can't afford it make sure you fill out FASFA for financial aid as almost everyone can qualify for some sort of help. Both of my daughters and my husband attend / attended college with the help of financial aid. If you do decided to move to Texas ( as an Okie I should say it is awful you know rivalry and all but it is a great state) keep in mind that the minimum wage is $7.25/hr in Texas which affects all of the wages above minimum wage but the cost of living is probably lower depending on the area. I do hope this helps you and I wish only the best for you and your family during this difficult time. Good Luck!!