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mean texts

I know managers sometimes use texting for communicating with employees like sending out a schedule but do you think it is right for them to text about other things? Like my manager will make comments when he sends the schedule to me like “don’t oversleep. I am not coming to wake you up.” Or he’ll send a text about not coming into work hungover! Not to everyone, just me. I’ve never been late and I’ve NEVER gone to work hungover…

How am I supposed to deal with this?


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A fellow Jobcaser

Your manager is trying to be funny but he's an idiot. He's giving both you and hr proof he's harassing you. Some people are just clueless

Dave Horton

Jill has the right response save the texts as your employer will do the same, no matter how funny or derogatory and what you say/text can and will be used against you when needed.

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Ignore the non-schedule comments - don't respond/react to them. Save the texts.

Cheryl Saliba

It's sounds to me like he's trying to joke with you, I could be wrong but as suggested you need to save the texts he sends you as well as not replying to him when he makes those types of comments. I would also suggest not sharing any personal info with him, things you do out of work or at home. Including being cautious of the things you say or tell to coworkers.

Don Behr

I drive a semi and my old boss would call me a stupid bastard and a mother u know what. I was the only one he talked to like that. I saw him today and I don't work there anymore and he started this morning. I kinda miss the way he talked to me.

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Totally inappropriate and totally unprofessional the only reason and I mean the only reason your manager should be texting you would be for a schedule and any text you would be sending to your manager for any reason would be that you were going to be out sick beginning and end of story

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HI Michael, I think he believes he has a good relationship with you. I wouldn't sweat it.

Dave Horton

SMS or text is just that not a conferencing mechanism.
Texting was designed to get in and get out get something done.
Some folks think it is a social media outlet on a business platform, it is just business!, if derogatory don't respond but keep on file, take note your employer will do the same.

Jaime Mackey

Save your texts - there are many apps out there that not only save them but make them available to print out. If he was trying to be (inappropriately) funny - maybe you could just talk to him about it. Let him know that it bothers you and maybe he'll just stop. If you don't feel comfortable talking with him about it then HR is your next stop.

Todd Armstrong

When a manager or associate responds to you in txt like that don't take it to heart....its just dry humor...just his way of saying he likes and Trust you to be as friends.....nxt time shoot it as if his mom kept you up all!!! Taste of his own you'll find out the real if he leaves you alone but if its not a laughing matter ....hes just being a prick.....time to confront and nip it at the bud!!!!!

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Depending on how much you like or want this job will determine how you react to this form of communication. First of all I would save every communication from him including the obviously derogatory schedule with remarks you described. That Manger (I use that title very lose referring to him) either is very comfortable with you and it is harmless banter or he's intending to humiliate you since your peers are reading the same texted documents as you are. Depending upon how irritating the texts are to you I probably would continue to allow him to send text after text with those comments in case you need them in the future. You can speak with an employment attorney to inquire as to if you filing a charge will pay off according to employment law. If it truly bothers you, file a formal written complaint and take the risk. Another option would to reply in text format in the same manner you are receiving and you'll find out quickly if he's just having fun and can take what he's dishing.

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Hi is testing you for some reason

David Kass

Michael. MY first question to you would be "Do you want to stay employed at this position? If the answer is yes, then your best course of action is to yet his joking/insults roll right off your back ignore them but carefully save the texts in case you need them later. If you don't care about your current job then you can try to discuss them with your boss in a polite discussion type manner.

Susan Griffin Olawale

Hi Michael,
I have never heard of a mangers texting anybody and schedules..Even managers who I have known as close friends.
I would nip it in the butt ask for your schedule on paper or you write down your schedule.
Because a manager isn't suppose to get this personal. They are to keep it professional and by the Ethic manuals and company policy's.. I have working sense I was 14 years old and I'm turning 50 and in all my years I never seen or heard of this practice

Mary Mitchum

Keep a paper trail of the text. I would contact HR and make them aware of what is going on.

Kay Stone

Sounds like he's trying to be funny (saying the opposite of what he knows is true). You may want to ask him if he is being serious or if these comments are meant as a joke?

Mark Hamric

Sounds like he feels comfortable with you. Probably thinks you are a great employee and so says things he knows are absurd. But save the texts just in case he's trying to harass you.

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I don't think this can end well. Ask him to stop the comments via text or any other medium regarding work. Just the schedule please.

Jennifer Weston

As weird as it is and inappropriate if the schedule is being sent in a group text maybe he's addressing you but really wanting someone else to see it and just using you as a example because you are not late or hung over. but never the less is very distasteful.

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Wow that's CRAZY ! . I don't know anymore about companies & their procedures ever since the Internet that is how everything is done SAD but true. I would try talking to your boss in private if that's possible ?. If no results try talking to HR, but be warned that might make things worse for you if he finds out. I personally have never had that happen to me. Sorry it happened to you. Good Luck ! :)

Talisha Nichols

I'm going to first ask you what type of communication did you open up for yourself and him to have?
I would also ask that you talk with him and another manager or go a step higher ..
That's inappropriate for a manager to text that to you. What is your personal life shouldn't be his concern as long as you are at work on time that's all that he needs to worry about.
You need to save those texts and get that issue resolved. Not professional at all..

Cori Upton

That's harassment!!!

A Smith

While on the surface this seems very inappropriate, what is your relationship with this manager. Do you engage in this kind of banter normally? Even if you do, he should not be putting comments like that in writing and sending them to you.

Anyway, don't respond and keep a file of these comments. If it continues, you might approach him and ask why he puts these comments on your schedule because to you he seems to be implying something negative about your punctuality or attendance and since you don't come to work late or miss days you are not sure where this is coming from. Additionally, if someone else reads this it could affect your future with the organization.

If he doesn't stop, go to HR.

Kesha Kinamore

Tell him you don't like all the extra stuff!

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if yall have a good relationship tell him you don't like what he is saying to you. I really think he be just joking around.

Twilight Princess

I would just send a lol, you know I never do.See you in the morning. Boom. Laugh at his joke, and it sends the message that you dont do those kinds of things. he wont send those types of texts again. Print out those texts and keep them as a record. If they keep up, take them to HR, and talk to HR about it. Have HR handle it. If the harassment continues file a complaint.

I dont think it is a huge deal. I think he is just immature. I would just tactfully embarrass him.

Guetchine Philippe

Hi Michael

Make sure your manager knows that he/she is your boss not your BFF.. Put a stop to this nonsense before it is too late. People have lost there jobs for these type of reasons.

Linda Hanks

Michael have you told him that the extra comments bother you? I don't think he is intending to be mean especially if the behaviors are not ones that you have issues with. Anytime a co-worker says or does something that bothers you the first step is to talk to them and ask them to cease the behavior make a note of when you had the conversation and of he makes another comment after that then go up the chain of command. But usually these things are misunderstandings unless they are sexual, threatening, or comments in regards to your race/religion/sexual orientation (one of the protected classifications) those obviously need to be brought up to HR ASAP.

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He's an HR issue. That is harassment. He should not be texting. It's like Trump Tweeting. It lacks professionalism and maturity. He should not in any way attack your chaRacter. I never had faith in HR. They always say you can call an anonymous line, but nothing is really anonymous. Eventually someone has to talk to the manager and then he will know who called him out on his bad behavior. Technology is making people lazy and has given them this sense of self importance. They hide behind the phone or Twitter, rather than being directly confrontational.

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I would tell him it bothers you and ask him nicely to stop. If he continues, i would go over his head to the district manager and report it. Maybe he's just trying to get u to like him or maybe he's just being a prick. Hard to tell at the moment

LaNeesha Butler

That's very unprofessional for him to say those thing's to you. It's not his place to worry about your personal time. He was only suppose to send you a schedule & that's it. All those other messages are irrelevant.

LaNeesha Butler

Don't respond sweety, I don't want you to lose your job. Sometimes the truth hurt Managers when you put them in their place. So, they fired you for it. Just be quiet & do your job.

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I would ask him why he is doing that. Because the company I worked for 30 yrs had a Corporate policy in place, that making such comments was considered Harassment unless it was done in a Employee Review interval- as a means of disciplining. If you are not doing anything to warrant these comments-- as in,, your not coming in drunk (you should not have alcohol on your breath),... dont drink etc & your mgr makes comments that you are drinking-- its also character assassination-- & maybe trying to build a case against you (so he can prove to the HR group with copies of his text messages) to have your FIRED. I would tell your manager that he needs to cease with the comments. If he does not,,, I would print out or save a copy of all those comments he makes & turn them over to the HR dept- or go over his head to his manager & report him.

Kristin Duich

I personally think it depends on if your boss is making the comment for all employees to see it don't seem like the professional thing to say. If he is just singling you yourself out NO it ain't right. Now if you and him have a relationship of that level and it don't bother you than whatev. But I would address him about it unless you think it won't do any good!

kirk Mason

What is.companies policies about that? If you feel uncomfortable about to him about that ask him or her to talk to you in person about it. If they still consist talk to his boss about it.

Philip Liquori

Alright I think people should have both a sense of humor and a tougher chin. These days they seem to lack both. Character is developed from both qualities. There are companies that publish and sell motivational commentary for managers to use to rally the troops or sharpen their commitment to the team. If some of your manager's motivational comments are less than stellar, you might mention some of those companies to replace their own. 'Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise', in today's workplace might be considered sexist to some. Next, they will complain what a lack of understanding management has because they do not understand the pressures of modern life. So lets realize that if you want a sterile workplace environment, do not be shocked when you get replaced by automation.

Sheila Enderle


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Do not respond keep doing your job, you don't want to create an akward tension and have to deal with attitude laughter it off keep it moving

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Start drinking

Tina Harris

It should not be tolerated. If you feel you can talk to him then let him know how you feel but make sure you are professional and document the conversation. I also agree you need to keep the text but make HR aware, if you then you will have no case if needed at a later date

lourdes serrano

Here's the thing tell em its inappropriate for him to send you those texts .when you're never late or hungover.ask to speak with him in his office. and nicely tell him you dont appreciate him texting you. About your lateness or hungover. Tell em with all due respect. I need. for you to respect me as i respect you.

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Maybe he sent wrong text to wrong person.

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My former store manager used to send texts like those it was so annoying. My advice would be not to respond eventually they will become aware they are talking to themselves.

Cynthia Montgomery

Turn him in that's ridiculous

Cathy Webb

Have you asked him why he says these things? He may be a goof with no sense of how to manage. Sounds like he needs to grow up.

Andrew Swensson

Ask the person directly if they are intending to be generating paperwork to encourage you to move on. If not you need to answer it .

Charles Lehner

Sue him, HR Director and company. Now!

Beatrice Aldebol

That is ridiculous advise..

Eric White

Don't take it so seriously. Save the texts, sometimes people have no idea that they are being offensive. Many times it is just perceived that they are being condescending. Instead of asking a community of people which is not wrong my recommendation would be to speak with him directly about it, get his side of things. Being a military veteran I have dealt with many different personalities and have learned that many are not intentionally being mean. Some just seem to have less tact than others, or a poor sense of humor. Hope this helps.

Dina Toppi

Is this a company supplied phone or your own. Just wondering.

Beatrice Aldebol

Hi Mike,
As an HR Mgr. I would go, and report this to your HR person, and show them the texts.

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Hi Michael I believe that your manager is wrong and that is extremely unprofessional to send messages like that. You should talk to HR to get that situation solved and show them the text messages. I had a problem with being a customer in a store and a manager talking inappropriately to me and I left a message on their website and the president of the company and his district manager called me to get the problem fixed. Stay calm mike and ignore his behavior until HR fixed it

Joseph Ferber

If you've NEVER been late or hungover, then ADDRESS a private meeting with him and ASK why he would make those fallacious comments about you!

Karen Oree

hey Michael happy new year, ok I got you , in a respectful way, tell him that the comments that he says to you; is not fitting to you ;; so can he find some thing to fit you; or you can help him out , what can he say that would make you say ok ,you got me and go from there . love Karen glad to help

Nolan Snell

There s nothing wrong with texting. How is that different than if he just called you? Sounds like he is joking. Maybe he actually LIKES you and doesn't realize you don't like what he considers good natured ribbing. Kidding around is part of the workplace; possibly you should just kid hm back a little?