In October of 2017 I was unceremoniously fired from a job. The writing had been on the wall for months, but I refused to believe that the day would ultimately come. I had even asked my direct supervisor to let me know if I ever need to start looking for a new job. (I was in a no-win situation with a member of upper management.)

I didn't get the requested courtesy and had decided that as long as my direct supervisor was fine with me, I would be safe.

Until I wasn't.

Being fired in October is a nightmare. Most jobs are slowing down hiring during the lengthy holiday stretch, and it typically means it won't be until after the new year when they resume hiring.

I knew this, and it created some major anxiety as every interview process upon which I embarked would be dragged out ad nauseam until the new year rolled in and the companies were ready to make good on their hiring directive.

During the months that followed, until I ultimately landed a job in mid-January, I was constantly being asked questions and given advice from friends and family as if I was not a fully-functioning adult, but a child who didn't have the mental capacity to know how to handle adult situations.

Their intentions were good I suppose, but I found myself answering the same questions and fielding the same unsolicited advice over and over.

This article may very well be preaching to the choir, and chances are, the audience who needs to see it won't, but here are some common questions and advice you should not ask/provide the job seeker in your life:

Have You Landed Any Interviews? This seems like a rather innocuous question, but for the job seeker who spends months and weeks answering it, it can be a demoralizing question. Especially if the answer is "No".

Did You Ever Hear Back From XYZ? Have You Followed Up? Again, this might seem a harmless question, but for those being asked it simply means that they have to explain over and over that no, the company never followed through. The second part about the follow up is an instance of someone thinking that they know better than you. Chances are, you have been following up and the last thing you need is someone assuming you didn't, especially when those follow-ups resulted in nothing.

Maybe You Need to Apply in Person... This is outdated advice. The days of "pounding the pavement" are long gone, unless you are applying for a small business, a mom and pop store, or fast food (and even fast food and retail want you to apply online). These days, in most fields, showing up in person will make you look really out of touch and will not be a bonus to your candidacy – and yet somehow this advice persists.

Why Is It Taking You So long to Find Work? "Whaaaaaaat? If I knew this, I wouldn't be unemployed right now, you airhead!" Is how I wanted to reply whenever someone asked me this. An applicant isn't privy to the inner workings of a company whose only relationship to it is the fact that there is a resume sitting in their database somewhere. It is almost cruel to ask a friend or relative this question because they already feel like the reason is them.

I Sent You A Posting... Nothing will make you realize that your family and friends know nothing about what your line of work is than receiving job postings from them. I worked in IT related fields, but they interpreted that as level one helpdesk stuff. I was bombarded with ads for "Apple genius Bar", "Best Buy Geek Squad", and other tech support positions, that more times than not had a "If you get this job you can get me discounts" jokes attached to them.

We know your intentions are kind, but allow us to do the work. Chances are we have already seen these jobs posted and passed over them for very valid reasons. But, thank you for being concerned.

Why Don't You Work For McDonalds? To this day, even on Jobcase, I still provide this as a last ditch piece of advice with the idea that "You take what you need until you can get what you want." If you have spent your adult life in a professional capacity, it is a blow to the ego to consider such jobs such as fast food or retail. Not to mention, it may not be as easy as you would think to show up at McDonalds with a professional resume. Most places, not even fast food, want to invest in hiring someone who will flee once they land something better.

Why Don't You Go Back to School for Nursing?* "Why don't you shut up before you need a nurse to sew your lip up!" Again, I never actually said that, but boy did I think it. When you are unemployed and money is running out, your friends and family are quick to point out what industries are hot right now and suggest that you simply go back to school. I don't even go to the doctor when I am sick. I have no idea how science and medicines work, and I am not keen on sinking money I don't have into an education I am not interested in. I know their intentions are well-meant, but holy cow is it insulting to imply that someone incur debt to go to school full time for several years, when all they want is to find work in a field with which they are already familiar.

What other things do you hear over and over in your job search from friends and family that you wish would stop?