Unwelcome Advances!!
How would you handle unwelcome advances from your manager in a dream job that took 8 months to land? I’ve already hinted that I am in a serious relationship but that hasn’t stopped the flirting, personal notes, and drooling stares. I thought about going to HR but I’ve heard making those type of claims on management usually end up hurting the victim. Besides, I’m still within my 90 days so I don’t have a leg to stand on. This is so embarrassing!
Diana,
You need to take this to HR to file a sexual harassment claim against your manager. I would suggest that if/when you go to HR you really have to position this in a way that doesn't make you appear vindictive. This may/will take some time on your part to build a case before taking action, but you can consider stating something like:
"I'd like to express my concern(s) regarding a private matter. As a new hire that's still within my probationary period I want to respect myself while maintaining my professionalism. I've worked hard to get here and I value the importance of my job and the people I work with, but I have a working conflict between myself and my manager that points to sexual harassment, and I am seeking help and support from HR in professionally handling this that will not damage my reputation or affect my employment".
From here you can need express your concerns, and share your proof (document this on a calendar by incident, date, and time), and if possible record the advances as they happen. I hope this helps as you should never feel embarrassed or fearful to take this up with HR. It shows you are trying to take the job seriously but have encountered a problem with developing a professional relationship because of these sexual advances. Good luck!
I would make sure if he continues let him know of your right to a free harassment workplace and you will report him to the proper authorities. It will documented in case he fires you later that can be used as retaliation against you. Take a stand and good luck.
Keep the notes and include them in your presentation to HR. Keep your phone nearby to record any conversations. It is not this persons debut with this kind of behavior-trust me. Pictures and live tangible evidence are the best defense. Trying to tap dance out of a tacky hand written note is hard to do.