I used to get so worked up about interviews. I would panic pretty much every step of the way. It got so bad that I had to look up all kinds of tips and tricks, breathing exercises and brain hacks to be able to make it through an interview. Heart racing, dry mouth, flubbing words and blanking out on simple questions, it’s all happened to me. It’s so frustrating to see the look of pity and disappointment on an interviewer’s face when you’re trying your best, but still not cutting it because your palms are sweating, your knees are bouncing and you can’t for the life of you remember what they just asked you.

After one particularly bad interview, I felt like just giving up. I wanted these jobs so badly that it was making me a nervous wreck and sabotaging my chances. So I tried something different. For the next interview I convinced myself that I didn’t want the job. I lowered my expectations and looked up negative reviews on Glassdoor. Instead of focusing on doing backflips to get the job, I decided to focus on just getting to know the interviewers.

When I walked in for my interview I was cool as a cucumber. When the interviewer came out I gave him a warm smile and a handshake that wasn’t slick with palm sweat. During the interview we got off topic a number of times due to how nicely the conversation was flowing because I was focused on listening rather than just ping-ponging back the “perfect” response. I felt like I was just getting to know a stranger. When he asked tough questions, I felt comfortable taking a moment to think as I normally would if someone asked me a hard-hitter. From the genuine smile on his face as he walked me out, I knew I had killed it. A few days later he called me back for a second interview. That is the FIRST TIME I have been called back for a second interview since I started my job search.

It may not be the right method for everyone, but for me trying to convince myself why I didn’t want the job before an interview cut through some of the desperate behaviors that were preventing me from shining in an interview. I think it’s healthy to have some skepticism about an employer before you interview with them, and viewing some of the negative or neutral comments about this employer definitely made it seem less intimidating to me. In my heart I know I want to work there, but I’m not focused on caring so deeply about getting the job. I’m limiting my expectations and moderating my emotions. So far, it’s worked out well for me!