Screw looking for a job, jobcaser. With your fortitude to keep pushing on says a lot about you, kudos. With your background and experience, start your own small business. This way you count on the only person you can rely on to move ahead in a healthy, secure manner, You. Mom is obviously a solid loving support for you, and you should draw from that support for encouragement and love, no one's better than Mom for that. Your strength is something you can and need to draw from deep inside you. It's there, for you to have come through life the way you have proves my point. Utilize the strength within you, covet the life light and energy that obviously you possess and build yourself and your future with it and through it.