Office bullies??
Hi, I'm new to this but after reading a few of your posts I feel like I should ask. I am currently working in an office which is Social Service, ha ha. I work eith an office of Bullies. My co-workers, have been heard even by me that they enjoy, enjoy being evil toward me. My birthday came through and it was said that no one in my unit wanted to waste their voice singing "happy birthday" to me. I spoke to my sup. only to realize he looks the other way and just today, they were counting down the days til my vacation. Really??? The unfortunate thing is, this is a government agency, two I'm too to quit (53) and tranferring is slow. I don't want to retire. Does anyone have any ideas how to handle "the Mean Girls" pt 2???
It's hard working with office bullies, especially when you try your hardest not to let them get to you. I had office bullies and would sometimes go home and fret about it until the next day. I had to find people, some outside the company, to support me. You might have to do something like that, or you might even have to find another area to work. I feel terrible knowing that you are going through this. I wish you only the best of outcomes, and can offer you comfort for support.
It DOES take an emotional toll on a person to deal with things like that daily. Easier said then done to ignore it. I went though an issue that actually sent me to the restroom in tears. I was working while undergoing chemotherapy. I had lost a lot of weight quickly. During an office birthday party ,while cutting cake, one woman announces that " MS. pretty and skinny doesn't need a piece, she doesn't eat". - went on with commentary about how my looks meant so much..... . No one knew about my medical situation, but that wasn't the main component. It was group humiliation. It hurt more then I ever thought that a bunch of people I really were not close to, could make me feel hurt. As I said, it's easier to say dismiss people who do these things when we spend more time with them at the office then at home sometimes. And once a " group" or " click" gets going, it just seems like endless entertainment to these shallow people.
Kimberly may I ask what kind of pay do you get. Is it hourly or commission? What kind of work is it?
Just ignore them. If they don't like you thats their problem. You are there to do your job and get paid. Your not there to make friends and gossip. They're children in adult bodies. They need to mature. Just think of yourself as the only adult in the room when you're around them. Just mind your own business and don't let them get to you.
You don;t have to quit all you have to do is keep it moving. You have to remember that you are at work and don;t need to make any friends. If you do cool. If not than Oh well. Those same people will tell there private business and fall out . While you will be in your own private world. If it gets hostile than call your corporate office to report your problems. If, necessary than buy you some headphones or a radio.
Find out who the leader is and charm the pants off that person and show that person favoritism. He or she will then call off the dogs also make sure you let them know they are always right.if they're wrong offer up a better idea but only in private if possible.
Do more praying and ask him for his guidance
You work in a Government department with clear laid down policies. No'' mean girls'' run the show and your supervisor is simply observing your response to the scenario, he/she maybe having gone through the same initiation. Do not be distracted by their machinatlons ,focus on your job but do not losr your cool , its mostly about testing mentality. You appear to have been working in the department for some time since you have accumulated vacation leave, yet you have not caught on to traditional office games. You come over as a loner lacking in simple communication skills. I am not advocating that you compromise your personality just to fit in , be yourself ,but also understand that this world I made up of all manner of people with whom you have no choice but to live with. keep on smiling do not let them get under your skin and let them know that you are hip on their games ,SMILE, BE HAPPY.
Hi Kimberly - Seasons Greeting,!!!!
Kimberly, this may sound hard but just try to ignore them. Or better yet, treat them with respect and kindness. It's hard, I know but ignorant bullies can only survive if they are constantly refueled by your frustration. It is just like a fire, it will burn out without fuel. Do not be their fuel, be more like water to them. Respect them and do not get frustrated. It will be hard at first but over the course of time, they'll either give up or simply ignore you. And you Kimberly will gain respect for both yourself and their eyes as well. Office bullies are in the most part, insecure people. Bringing you down builds them up. Do not let that happen. Be strong. If it gets too tough at times, just take a break and think it through. If you go one on one against them, you will lose. I have seen it too many times in the past. Simply ignore their taunts. You are on a much higher intelligence level than they are anyway. Merry Christmas Kimberly
Everybody gets older too. They'll go through the same thing there putting you through and maybe then they'll know how they made you feel. Or if there that heartless they might not. Can't stand people who bully or gossip about others. Had a few gossips in my office so I walked up to the instigator and told her to her face when she talks about me she'd better look me in the eye. I'll tell her off. Hey, I got a few choice words for her. Gossips are silent scared bullies. And the ones that do mouth off the loudest are probably being bullied themselves or are looking for attention. As far as the manager or supervisor not doing anything says he or she has NO backbone and is in fear of them.