Feeling Worthless
Last week, I was body shamed by a male supervisor while another male supervisor stood in the same room and said nothing. Since day one I have been singled out and judged for the way I look. I cry every day, I have major anxiety just walking up to the building, and I don't even feel comfortable walking as far as the bathroom in fear of being once again humiliated for being proportionately different from what mainstream society may deem as normal for a skinny girl. The head of HR has already voiced she doesn't like me and if I make a complaint it won't be taken seriously, and I believe I will be fired for speaking up. I have battled with anorexia and body dis-morphia through out my life and have worked very hard with counseling to find a place where I was finally okay and happy with myself. Now, all of that progress is gone. I'm back to not eating and feeling ashamed for wanting to look and be healthy. I'm trying desperately to find another job. I don't know how much longer I can take the torture. What do I do? How do I get out of here and back to feeling good about myself?
If they look at you for the way you look then they are jealous a beautiful face and body don't last forever but a good heart does you should always feel good about yourself no matter what anyone else thinks
Don't stop eating because of what them bitches gotta say, the men probably mad cause you look better than their girlfriends and that hoe (the head of the HR department) she just jealous cause shes not skinny like you baby girl don't let anybody bring you down ever cause at the end of the day they gotta go home with the guilt they put inside of you. And yes I would be trying to find a job quick because I don't like that at all. Just walk pretty laugh in their faces and say fuck all of them because you're the head bitch up in there.
Amanda, I hope you find a new job that loves and appreciates you for you. I'm a case worker, and often do a lot and receive little or no appreciation for the hard work that I do, often working after hours just to stay afloat. I pray you find a new job that appreciates you. And I know it's easier said than done, but love you for you! You are special and you are important! I am crying as I write this, as I just had a friend pass away yesterday from anorexia. She must have suffered from body dysmorphic disorder. I had no idea she was so sick! She wore baggy clothes to hide her extreme weight loss. Take care of yourself, and I hope you find a job you love and people who appreciate you, even if it's a different line of work you're not used to. I know, I feel stuck in the same boat--working at a job where people don't apperciate me. And I say, pray, and talk to God about it. He listens. "....throw all your anxiety on him (God) because he cares for you. (1Peter 5:7)." Hope I made your day a little brighter! :)
Thank you so much for the kind words and support. I'm trying to keep it together but it's harder with every hour I have to be there. I can only hope I get a job within the next week or they fire me and I collect unemployment until I do. Thank you again.