Narcissism on the Job
It often happens that employees, at all levels in a worplace, are confronted with the "big ego" of others. In fact, dealing with this in a helpful way may be a significant, but unstated, part of the job description. People in middle management are often confronted with the narcissism (big ego), of people above and below them in the organization. Dealing with narcissism in a humane and effective way may require gaining skills and awareness in regard to narcissism, but such education and training can significantly upgrade overall functioning and job satisfaction. Loss of employment, voluntary and involuntary, is frequently due to difficulties in the relationships between employees rather than due to difficulties in performance of defined job tasks. Wounded pride (narcissistic injury), is frequently behind the loss of employment. Even violence on the job (or post employment) can be traced to narcissistic injuries. Bureaucratic systems are especially at risk for causing wounded pride and having serious consequences. Even though problems related to narcissism in the workplace are prevalent and very costly, I am not aware of workplace narcissism being the focus of efforts to upgrade workplace functioning. Perhaps people reading this would like to respond and offer their experiences of dealing with "ego" problems in their workplaces.
Robert, that is good advice about narcissism on the job. It really is.
Check out this article about Steve Jobs being narcissistic, despite being the founder of Apple:
How Steve Jobs Became a Better Boss When He Curbed His Narcissism
Even the iconic Apple co-founder learned that a little humility never
I have had to deal with a narcissistic volunteer who believed they had controls over all of my work duties. They sit on a committee and have recommendations on financial decisions. They have now asked the parties in control to decrease my hours from full time to part time to suit my needs. I love my job however, they make it miserable. Their actions could potentially effect my livelihood and that is never ok. My superiors support me 100%. I hope she is put in her place soon.
And I am always an independent contractor when I work with/for others.
I have found this often in sales environments. I find it sickening. Seeing this play out and impacting my business caused me to simply walk away. I realize I cannot change anyone but myself and I don't try to do so. Narcissism is so rampart, I just opened my own agency and work by myself. The greed I have experienced from others is more than I can tolerate. Even though these people make money every time I make a sale, they can't resist wanting it all for themselves. It is very costly spending time dealing with these personalities. So, I don't.
Exactly my thoughts donβt pay attention to them they just want to make you feel or look bad donβt forget that your work preference speaks for itself
I am 60 yrs old and my parents taught me these two rules at a very young age. # 1 - Pay no attention to bullies. If they see they cannot get a rise out of you they will get bored and move on to someone else. If someone says something to you...say thank you for your personal opinion. May you have a wonderful day and walk away or grab that phone and pretend to make a call. If they do it again...react the same way. Show them that their words are irrelevant to you and kill them with kindness and a great big smile. Trust me it works like a charm. If a co-worker is sabotaging your work take pics or make copies of your completed work as proof to back you up. We all walk around with cell phones right. Taking a pic of your computer screen is not that difficult to do and trust me no one will even notice your doing it. Tell NO ONE what you are doing just keep that info in your back pocket if you ever need it. If all hell breaks lose that is when you pull that card out of your pocket and you can advise your boss you did it because you knew the situation was going on and you did it to prove your work. Be honest and apologetic but be firm with your reasons behind doing it. A boss will commend you for your out of the box thought process to nip the perpetrator in his/her tracks and will appreciate that you did not cause unnecessary waves to disrupt the office until it was absolutely necessary. Once your boss sees the proof and may request the proof then make sure you delete the pics in front of them. Second lesson....NEVER divulge personal information about yourself in the workplace to ANYONE. The less people know about you the less they have to gossip about. You are at your job to perform a job not socialize. Keep your nose buried in your work. You can say good AM or good night, pay someone a compliment if you like what they are wearing or congratulate them for something but keep it simple and always be polite and smile but never share who you are as a human being. If they come to you complaining about their life or work...just say I am so sorry to hear this I hope it works out for you and come up with an excuse to end the conversation. They will stop coming your way and move on to someone else. I was at a job for 14 yrs and no one knew if I was married with children or not, what my fav TV show was, where I went on vaca, my hobbies, etc. I was an enigma but I was left alone to do my job and no one had a bad thing to say about me. In fact my boss would tell me all the time your always so happy and full of positive energy and never one complaint regarding me or my work. I was promoted numerous times. Narcissistic people have no self esteem or confidence levels in themselves and they are just looking to bring you down into their misery levels or put you down to make themselves feel better. Why even bite the worm they are baiting?? Ignore them and move on with your happy self.
Narcissism is an illness, and is certified by mhmr. Its a sociopathic trait that is horrible. I married one, now divorced, with no penalty of spousal support or all that follows because i reported suspicion of that behavior with photos/video and all. She had to take a test when filing for all that, and i was proven right. I dont play when it comes to this particular subject because it hits home. Do not quit your job, they're hard to get, get proof of this behavior and report it. You will come out on top in the end, TRUST ME!
I just left a job due to a man who would not leave me alone, but instead kept trying to humiliate me in front of co-workers on a daily basis. He kept sabotaging my work, telling the owner I wasn't making deadlines because of the mess he kept causing, then laughed when the owner wouldn't stand up to him.
Retail is full of Narcissists. Especially in a commission structured environment. They terrorize and bully everyone that is a threat to their fragile ego. Good workers that refuse to play into their gaslighting lose to these emotional vampires. We can only hope to one day have narcissist free workplaces...
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