Prepare yourself to ask for help: part 1
We all know the feeling of being overwhelmed by what’s happening in our lives. Stress around money can compound those feelings; having us start to worry and stress more about our situation. We know we need help but how do we ask for it to ensure that we get the help we need? Jobcase is here to help you get the help you need in times of stress.
Are you ready for step one?
Open yourself up for help
You might have the belief that you should be the one to fix your own problems all the time.You may have heard cautionary tales about people who rely too much on others and may have promised yourself that you would always be independent.
It is hard to ask for help, and keeping ourselves trapped in fear about reaching out to others makes it even harder. This is why we often don’t do it until we’re backed into a corner by life.. In order to ask for (and accept) help, you will need to lose those unhelpful beliefs and open yourself up for receiving help..
Repeat this to yourself to change your perspective: Asking for help does not weaken me, but makes me stronger by opening me up to the power and support of my community. The foundation of community is people helping people.
Identify your true pain points
Maybe you’re having trouble paying your bills. This is a pain many of us have felt before, and yet, telling someone that you’re unable to pay your bills doesn’t provide needed information for them to help you.
Not having enough money to pay the bills describes your pain, but describing your pain points is more specific than that. A pain point statement describes the pain you’re in now, but it also describes the events that contributed to your current situation. In describing your story, you allow others to offer you solutions in the ways they best can.
So instead of saying, “I’m unable to pay my bills,” you might say instead “After being suddenly laid off, I was forced to take a lower paying job in an industry that doesn’t value my qualifications, which has left me unable to pay my bills after several months.” The pain you describe remains being unable to pay bills but describing your pain points adds the detail of being laid off, taking a lower paying job and feeling undervalued. Someone who wants to help you now has many more openings to provide information, support and opportunities, depending on their ability to help you.
Practice makes perfect…
Take a moment to think about what your pain points are and write out a pain point statement in the comments below.
Who knows...maybe someone will reply with the support or encouragement you need to hear!
Part 2 is here! Click below to check out the second part of this series, where I show you how to target and approach specific people in your community for help.
Comments
Hi, Jessica. First of all, I'm so very sorry to hear that you're currently in this position. It seems like things are coming down on you from all sides right now. I want you to know that it is OK and completely normal to feel lost right now given your circumstances. What I'm hearing is that you're dealing with financial stress brought on by a devastating personal situation in addition to the unfortunate and untimely loss of a job which brought you both financial stability and a life purpose.
This is a lot to deal with! Please take a moment to consider how strong you are to be living through these moments, through feelings of loss, pain and financial insecurity. You can do this, you just need to be aware of the right resources you need to continue fighting your way back to a stable and peaceful life.
The most time sensitive thing to try and take care of is maintaining a stable living situation, so let's start there. After that I'll work through some other resources for help and support.
Get help regarding your property taxes and mortgage. For general support and resources, please visit the Homeless/Insecure Housing Support website and explore the resources there. This should give you many options to explore for financial support.
As for more specific resources: Since it looks to me like you live in New Jersey, I would suggest you check out this page for NJ residents who may need a payment plan to help pay down their taxes. And if you need additional help, there is an email included on the above page where you can reach out to someone directly at the New Jersey Taxation office. I also found this helpful page where you can see all of the options available for people with tax debt in New Jersey. If you have mortgage payments and are struggling there as well, click here you will find some information on New Jersey's COVID-19 mortgage relief steps which may help you find financial support if your mortgage payments are also behind. This federal resource will also be crucially important to understanding what mortgage relief and forbearance options may help you during this time. This information may seem overwhelming right now, but as you reach out remmeber that many people are in a similar position as you right now, being that the current pandemic has made it impossible for many Americans to pay their bills.
Register for Unemployment Benefits If you haven't already, you should register to receive weekly unemployment benefits from your state. If you click here this link should take you directly to the page where you can sign up for these benefits. If your termination was, in any way, related to the pandemic you may also be eligible for Pandemic Unemployment Insurance, however you should register for regular unemployment first. If you are eligible for PUA, your unemployment office should redirect you there after they have examined your case.
Find employment and income options If you'd like to explore your options, please check out our job search function, which not only contains results from our own site, but also pulls together job listings from many other job sites, so you can search all in one place. If you need something that will get you earning right away, and have a computer, be sure to explore remote options. When I was in a financial bind, myself, I worked as a transcriptionist, where I would listen to audio files and type what I heard. Rev and TranscribeMe! are two legitimate transcription companies that offer entry level transcription jobs that can help you generate income now, when you need it the most.
Reach out for comfort You've been through so much, Jessica, and I really hope you can reach out to friends and family to receive emotional support for all that you're experiencing. If you don't have anyone to talk to about the abuse you suffered, reaching out to a help-line can help you to work through those experiences and feelings at no cost or inconvenience to you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has 24/7 outreach resources via phone call, text or online chat. No matter what you're going through, please know that you are supported and you are not alone.
I sincerely hope the resources I provided can help you feel a little less lost. Please let me know if there's anything else I can look into for you, Jessica. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and truly wish you the best as you work to get your life back into balance.
-Laila
Hi.. I'm currently dealing with a lot of pain due to being terminated from my Substance Abuse Counseling position on 6/1/20. This job meant the world to me, as I was helping my clients prosper during their recovery. I was also (quietly) being mentally, emotionally, and most recently, physically abused. I have pics to prove it. The abuser, which was my boyfriend of 20 years, is no longer living with me, and I am so ridiculously behind on all my bills, as they were never being paid. I'm also in some serious danger of losing my home due to falling behind on my property taxes. I am so beyond lost right now, and really don't know what to do.. I wish I was NEVER terminated from my position. I was, and still are, an Intern. I'm learning, growing, and trying to make my career grow.. I'm so lost, confused, hurt, and starting to feel I'll never be good enough..
Hello. After 20 plus years in the field of education, I suddenly feel like I have been frozen out not able to get another administration position. I left for one year to complete a doctoral program. I was told getting the degree would open more doors, I just keep getting them closed on me. I got professional help to update my resume and cover letter writing skills, I have been watching numerous videos on how to have a successful interview. I feel like I have to go back to teaching to get my foot into a district before I can move up again. I know these are weird times for schools, so I try to be patient. I am not sure what else I can do...