Some of the jobs we choose have lasting effects. A career spent lifting heavy objects might lead to achy joints and a bad back. If you spend years in a combat zone, there’s risk of physical harm but also mental scars that can persist far after the danger has passed. By the grace of God, my fiance was never physically harmed in the line of duty. I remember hugging him in the airport almost not believing that he could be home safe with us again, not a scratch on him. He was here, home, smiling and seemingly happy.

Our first big holiday together after he got back was the 4th of July. We planned to go big to celebrate him coming home, so we invited a bunch of friends over to our place and made a bonfire in the field behind our house. Some old school buddies of ours pulled up in a pickup full of fireworks and started setting them off in the empty field for everyone. I didn’t expect them to even come, let alone bring fireworks, but it was a nice surprise. We were all oohing and ahhhing at the fireworks when I looked over to where my fiance was standing and he was gone. I thought, “That’s weird!” but I figured maybe he had to use the bathroom or something.

After the fireworks were over we continued to grill and party. I kept looking for my fiance outside but he was nowhere to be found. I checked the bathrooms and even our bedroom and he was nowhere. Then I heard our dog whining from the basement. I went down and there he was sitting under the stairs with the dog wrapped around him, hands covering his ears. When he noticed I was there he started apologizing to me (for what??) and I just sat there with him and the dog until he was calm enough to come out again.

The next morning we talked about it over breakfast and he told me about what he was feeling. Suddenly, everything made sense. I come from a family of action takers and plan makers, so I didn’t waste any time in trying to set up multiple ways to help my fiance with his PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I hooked him up with a veteran support group in our area and with a licensed therapist. We also haven’t seen fireworks for July 4th or New Years since then and we’ve gotten a special sign for our front yard so people can be courteous about firework use in the neighborhood.

Now, if people are thinking of shooting off fireworks in our neighborhood, they’ll give us a quick call. Sometimes, we’ll go for a long drive and talk until the fireworks are over. It gives us a good reason to connect and just spend some time together outside of the house.

So if you know of any veterans in your area, try reaching out to them if you plan to set off fireworks this year. I really appreciate how kind everyone in the neighborhood has been by always getting in touch about their plans for the 4th of July. My fiance still suffers with PTSD, but being in a supportive environment has really helped him I think. I realize that not every veteran has that and my heart goes out to them. If I can help one veteran from feeling the fear and pain my fiance felt that night I’ll be happy.

PS- If you’re interested in one of those signs here’s the site we got ours from: https://shopmilitarywithptsd.ecwid.com/#!/Veteran-Lives-Here-Sign/c/19928017/offset=0&sort=normal