
Career and Self:
As we navigate our personal career journeys, it's inevitable that we will encounter personal challenges that can stop us in our tracks and shake us to the bone. It doesn’t matter where we stumble on this journey as much as how it affects our ability to remain productive. We must still always earn a paycheck or be on a daily quest to secure an income.
In the past I never really intertwined my personal life with my work life, at least I didn’t think I did. For me, I think it was just that I didn’t connect the two consciously, but my personal struggles lately have made me aware that I may be unstable in one because of the other.
Community Feedback:
I have also been one who prefers to only reveal that “All is Well” to others. I’m beginning to realize this may be the probable reason I am having such difficulty pulling myself out enough to be able to climb back up. I can say with near certainty that maybe it has been a hinderance for me throughout my entire existence.
The problem being, I never receive feedback because I never put it out there to seek advice from the outside peering in. So today, I’m putting it out there in hopes of gaining a better understanding from the community. It may be the only way for me to see beyond my own mind-space.
Facing Uncertainty at a Crossroads:
This month I began the last year of my 50’s. I’m not even sure what that means. Only when I’m referring to someone else does that concept seem old. I’m not old.
Some may consider it a milestone, but it has been nearly two decades since I’ve recognized anything that has to do with my having an end. It’s as if I am a traveler grown weary from facing yet another Crossroads of Uncertainty. I am left grappling with profound questions about my identity, worth, and future. It's a juncture where financial, emotional, and physical strains converge, leaving me feeling adrift and unsure of what lies ahead.
Navigating the Turbulence of Relationships:
For the past four years, I’ve been in a relationship with a girl twenty-two years younger than I am. Last week, I made the decision to end it, recognizing the disparities in age and life experiences that weighed heavily on my conscience. The aftermath has left me feeling isolated, extremely lonely, and questioning my abilities to form meaningful connections.
Struggling with Self-Worth and Direction:
Alone now, I find myself sorting through these feelings of inadequacy and despair. Without a stable job or reliable transportation, the future feels daunting and questionable. The shame of my current circumstances weighs heavily on me, amplifying my sense of loneliness with a hovering stagnancy, which I have always done my best to run from.
Seeking Community Insight:
Am I the only one who sits in thought this way? Have you ever faced personal challenges that relate to your ability to remain secure in your career endeavors? How did you navigate through them? Your insights, support, and encouragement are invaluable to me and may provide a beacon of hope in this overcast moment.
Thank you for lending an ear, offering your thoughts, and being the supportive community I know you to be.

Hi Scott, I can never say I know how you feel since we all have our individual and unique journey. But I can relate to the frustration and loss that you're describing. I tried to climb out of my own self doubt black hole by building my muscle for self compassion. I was just like you who always tell other "all is well" so they don't need to worry. I found that I wasn't only shutting out help from others, but also didn't have enough compassion for myself. When I was feeling rejected from all over the places like relationships, work and life, I tried to spend a lot more effort on building a relationship with myself. Start with a few things that you feel proud about yourself as reminders. Then exploring things that make you feel comfort and relaxing.
You're a wonderful professional whom I respected and have helped many others in the community who are going through their dark times. Don't let these challenges make you doubt your worth. You're not alone. We're here for you.
Scott, let me commend you for a beautiful display of vulnerability and transparency. I wonder if this platform has ever hosted such a post before.
My abridged story - 2019 was the hardest year of my life. I experienced two extremely difficult situations - one professionally and one personally - at the same time. Either one would have been enough to cause serious anxiety, but the combination nearly did me in.
What got me out was faith. It might be an unpopular view, but I believe the Bible when it says God is like a good father. It brought me so much peace to remember that I just get to be a kid with my super smart, super wise, super powerful Dad. I didn't need to know how those situations were going to be resolved just like my kids don't ever need to worry about where the food is going to come from or how they are going to get to school. I just needed to trust Him and follow Him.