Debbie Cox
9 months ago
Report

Death of a client

My last client, I lost to natural death causes. However, it was I that found her body that day I went to work. This is a very devastating experience to endure. I had worked in this home for five consecutive years. It doesn't make the over whelming sense of loss any easier if it had been for a much lesser time spent with this lady. We are all human, my point is..we care in this particular field of work. It is good to talk to someone else( professionally) most companies will allow access to someone in this field, to help you get through this, without cost to you. It helps!

54 Likes
64 Comments
Like
Comment
Share
Show Previous Comments
Jessica Mitchell
Report

Hang in the Debbie! I hate that you are going through such a traumatic time but I really hope that you find the strength to go on and be the BEST you that you can be! Im praying for you and your client family

36w
3
Reply
3 Likes
Brian Horn
Report

I'm sorry to hear that honey I'm here anytime

36w
1
1
1 Like
Lois Martin
Report

Hi Debbie Cox --- No doubt you and your client were like family. I am so sorry for your loss. You have a wonderful, caring heart!

36w
1
1
1 Like
David Nickoles
Report

Yes that is probably one of the hardest things to go through and I understand it. Still looking for the help but praying to keep it together.

36w
1
Reply
1 Like
stacie sheppard
Report

Thank you I miss her alot

35w
Like
Reply
None Henson
Report

Debbie, that's what makes you the great person and employee that you are, the compassion and professionalism that is obviously second to none. Hang in there, people like you are what makes this world a better place.

35w
2
Reply
2 Likes
Gretchen Anderson
Report

I can only imagine what a traumatic experience for you, Debbie. I'm so sorry you had to endure this circumstance and loss of not only a client, but someone you personally cared for their well being over all these years. Please have no doubt this woman (and her family) is eternally grateful for all of the time, care and personal attention you gave to provide for her well being and companionship. Many people cannot do what you do. You are strong, compassionate and caring. Your gifts and ability to do this line of work is God sent. Take care of yourself, and know you are appreciated beyond words. God bless you, Debbie.

34w
2
Reply
2 Likes
Phyllis Phillips Clower
Report

Having spent time in the health care field, I completely understand what you’re feeling. However, during the time I was working in that field, no one expected you to get “emotionally attached”, you were expected to keep your distance. I found this to be extremely difficult, being human. I am not a Vulcan, and neither are you! If employers can’t see that employees need assistance after such an ordeal, then they aren’t worth working for! I’m sorry for your loss, because that’s what it is, but mostly I am sorry for your anguish.

32w
1
Reply
1 Like
Charmaine Artis
Report

Aw, Im so sorry Debbie! I hope things get better for you and If you need to talk to someone, dont be afraid to do so. Keep your head held high and remember to take a day at a time :)

32w
1
Reply
1 Like
Christina Theodosiades
Report

I understand exactly what you are trying to express. I also lost a "Client ,to natural causes,. It was a very traumatic experience to say the least, . I wasn't with my client as long as you and your client,but it didn't make it any easier. What made it hard for me was the fact that although my client was a "Hospice Care patient with "DNR order .,.when I started this gentleman was quite alert and able to get around his apartment with the help of his walker (which he did not like to use , most times he did not use it and preferred leaning on furniture or the wall) wish he would had used it more ,then maybe he wouldn't of had his accident,He was a "Dementia Client and as most caregivers know,,for some reason they like to change thier clothes constantly or put on as many pairs of pants and tops as they can. Many mornings I would arrived and have to help him take off some of the clothes he put on the night before.He lived alone with cameras in every room being monitored by his son and daughter in law,they were in the process of preparing thier house for him to come stay.anyhow one particular night while putting on a pair a pants ,he somehow fell,this fall was witnessed by camera by the son who contacted me and I ran over there while they were in route and the ambulance in route also.turns out he bruised his "tailbone,which you wouldn't have thought would be a severe injury,but with an elderly person it can be..He was from that point on "Bed bound. His bed was moved into the living room. And I was spending more time with him as he favorited me to the other caregiver,.The issues started when he became bedridden ,due to the fact that he had to use an "adult diaper, this did not go over well with him ,he constantly ripped it off ,and was not very cooperative any more as now along with his bruised tailbone , his ego was bruised because of the diaper.It seemed I spent more time stuggling to keep him clean and presentable than anything else,he would now start to put his hands on me , I was calm and just held his arms till he calmed down, all this was shown on camera ,so I wasn't worried when he would now scream I was hurtful to him, when all I would try to do was keep his diaper on.this went on for three weeks ,he would drift back and forth to different realities as we've seen before in dementia clients.Then came a specific Tuesday ,he was different , quiet and almost humbled. He apologized for all the fighting ,thanked me for the help , I was taken aback by this sudden change,then I understood what was going on..He had given up, you see when I tried to offer him fluids or food , he refused..He was ready to go, I called his hospice nurse and son and they came by and he still refused any nourishment.being a "DNR there was nothing we could do ,but make him as comfortable as possible while he passed.He didn't pass right away ,it took 4 long days,it was one of the most difficult situation I have been in during my years as a caregiver. To just sit there for 12 hours a day watching him slowly pass day by day ,then he passed on Saturday evening , I was there for 12 hours his daughter in law came to relieve me for a few hours so I could go home and care for my daughter ,I was to head back after, I never got to go back ,She had called me two hours if me being home ,to tell me he passed away.the next time I was to see "Marion,(his name ) would be at his viewing.You are correct in saying that having someone to talk to about an event like this helps and I believe necessary for us caregivers. Yes it comes with the job,but I don't believe anyone of us are quite ready when something like this happens. I know I tried my best his last few days of life to get him to drink and or sip on soup,but his mind was made up,he did not want to go thru the time he had left being in an adult diaper, for a man who went thru the war in Germany ,the man who came from Poland and built a nice life for him and his family, He wanted to die with dignity .

32w
1
Reply
1 Like