I am 2nd in command at a small company, which includes HR. The owner can be a hot head. There was a meeting that upset several employees yesterday and they came to me. I tried to let him know what some of the issues were and he went off. I was cursed at in externally fowl language, told that I was failing at my job, told I was telling him he was failing at his job and I was wrong about it. The entire office heard everything. The employees were crying uncontrollably. I was demanded to clean up after people in a disgusting manner. Everything calmed down a bit at this point. I plan on going into his office and telling him he can never speak to me that way again or I will immediately walk out the door and never return. Is this the proper response to this situation? I've been looking for something already since problems like this arise all the time, but I have never been verbally assaulted like this in my entire life. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Again, it is a very small office.
If this happens again you should stand up for yourself right then. He diminished you in the eyes of your subordinates when he spoke to you like that loudly enough for them to hear. You should all look into workplace harassment protection options and hostile work environment options. He does not belong in his position and apparently knows it and sees you as a threat
At no moment superiors are entitled to abuse subordinates. Write a own report for you, with date and time. Send that person an email asking why of the outburst. Probably you will not get an answer if you are dealing with an arrogant, or inconsiderate individual. Anyway, keep the email in a specific folder, do not delete it. For future references. In the email you should ask for an apology definitely. Hope everything get better. There is no need to walk out. Sometimes, people act out of rage of frustration, which is not acceptable. However, it happens. That persons owes you an apology. Have a great day and best wishes
Katie that is a terrible situation and you should never be treated like that. If you have a husband that works and can afford to quit then do it now but if you are single and need a job then find another job before you quit. I have been out of work for 30 months and I can't find a job. Their are to many people out of work now to quit a job until you have a new job if you have to work.
Document, document, document. Before you do anything rash, first handle your HR responsibilities. In the end, this will leave you ahead of the pack should something legal result in your boss' inappropriate actions. Be specific. and detailed. Stay away from words like
hot head but rather describe the actions such as yelling loudly or using obscene language. Once you've got your documentation in order, DO send him a separate email describing how his actions made you feel and the impact they had on the staff.
In the end, you probably cannot change this leopard's spots, so dust off your resume and update it with all your skills and get ready to for bigger and better things. How you handle this situation can really impact your future growth opportunities. Place yourself in a position for betterment.
Best to you,
I once had a Job where my boss yelled and threatened to fire me every day. A virtual nightmare since it was always in front of the other employees.
I was the highest earning salesman on the job, I knew it and so did he. I simply got numb to it since I knew I was invaluable and that he would never fire his best revenue generator.
Then one day he fired off at one of my customers and after the customer told his boss, he was fired.
Your boss is the owner and will never change. If the money is good, just ignore his rage and go about being an excellent employee.
In the mean time, look for another job, its easier to fine work when you are working.
By ignoring his rage, he will look foolish, and the other employees will take your side. When you leave most of the employees will leave with you and he will be screwed.
Sounds like my small office. Look for a job, plan your exit, don't expect someone like that will ever apologize. It won't change anything anyway. Don't leave without something lined up. It's easier to get a job while you're employed than when you're not. Do not step out on faith unless you enjoy answering why you quit in every interview. How do you tell the interviewer that your boss is/was a complete jerk (that's using nice words) without badmouthing the company? You can't. Or you look like a drama queen who can't stand correction (not true, of course, but that's how it will look if you're nice/polite about why you left). He's a jerk, you know it, time to leave. End of story. Good luck.
Leave ASAP, and urge your co-workers to do the same. It does not appear Mr. Hothead is going to fix his anger issues, and he already crossed the line with that sort of abuse. He may be the owner, but he does not have the right to abuse people. Let him run the place by himself. If the owner is not smart enough to know his employees are what allow him to make money with his company, then he needs to see it go under and experience it the hard way. That does not help you and the other employees earn a paycheck, but in the long run, it is not healthy to work in an environment like this, and perhaps better to get on to the next thing.
A CALM answer turneth away strife...In other words , fight fire with water! ! It's not what u say it's HOW u say it ..... most hotheads response TO pain is anger which is not an excuse but I used to be a hott head and I'm still working on it.. so with that being said ,I strongly suggest prayer 1ST (A LOT)and to approach your boss in a calm, loving and forgiving manner even though this is very difficult , things will definitely work out in your favor. Express your feelings in a peaceful and private setting as well as listen to the other parties point of view... if things seem to escalate ,respond calmly and lovingly if it's not working out ,then end the conversation on a positive note. Have self control & be the bigger person in that situation .Finally ,the best time to find a job is when you have one but never make decisions while angry .Document everything that transpires , dot your i's & cross you t's .Also ,witness statements would help ....it's a test...Luv is the key & God is Love ..U can't lose....SELAH !!!
Katie there's two ways you can handle this. One: Let him know that this type of disrespect is not going to be allowed. Let him know that you are there to do a job in which you do very well. Let him know that it's his job to listen to his employees especially if what they are taking him can improve his business. Happy employees will produce great work. Second: If he can't comply with either of that and continues the disrespect, then you pack up your desk and call it quits. Oh there's third. Take this to a labor lawyer and get the other employees to back you up.
Since everything seemed to calm down a bit ask him for a calm sit down. Explain to him how he undermined your authority over everyone else.
They do not regard you like they did before and they regard him even less. try to convince him that it is in his best interest that all the employees at least respect each other , you and him or the company will not survive. He needs to address the entire staff and explain his actions or his small company is doomed.
Do you really want to stay at that job?" Life is too short to not enjoy a job. Think about finding a new job. Leave on good terms with your boss. He sounds like he has trouble with advice and constructive criticism. It's time for you to start looking around for another job. If you can afford it, my advice is to quit as soon as you can! What do you really want to do? I had bosses whose egos were too fragile for constructive criticism and I had to get out a/a/s/p after I tried to help them b/c they wanted to get rid of me.
Turn this Business Owner in to the Better Business Buero for carrying Himself in unprofessional Manner and being very Disrespectful toward You and every person that had to endur this Mans behavior. Make that Your first step before taking any other action. Don't Quit Your Job. Be smarter than that
Document everything you can remember. Ask your employees for witness material. Pack up your office and go into the Boss's office and tell him he never speak to you like that again. If he fires you, walk out the door---Unemployment is waiting. But tell him he's got a lawsuit coming --
Hostile Work Environment. And if you quit, again, take all documentation with you, yell out
Who's with me?!?!?!? And get an attorney. I don't care if the company has 3 workers or 3,000,000. In a job environment, no one deserves to be treated like that. PERIOD.
Every one SHOULD ONLY work where they are appreciated and respected. They are 1000l jobs for ppl who wish to work. Don't allow any evil to pin you anywhere you don't feel happy. This is the only life live it happily it's your time use it well. You are smart than the word, you are in command with power and authority given by GOD. so trust yourself and move to comfort.
They are 1000l jobs for ppl who wish to work. Hahahaha! How funny you are! Clearly, either there are NOT 1000 jobs for (every) person that wants to work, or else there are a shipload of people that frequent this forum that do not want to work.
Unless, of course, your words
... 1000 jobs for ppl who wish to work mean that there are only 1000 jobs for the tens of thousands that wish to work, which is entirely possible.
I saw on TV recently that in a small Southern town, 50 new factory positions were available, and 3000 people applied. That makes 600 people per job opening, not 600 openings per job seeker.
I would make sure you document this event. Make sure you detail what occurred, date, time etc along with ant witnesses. I then would send your boss an email asking him to meet with you regarding this incident. At the meeting be calm and stress your importance to the organization and that his actions were inappropriate and you would like an apology. If you do not get an apology or his bad behavior continues I would look to get out. In your position, second in command, I would give at least a two week notice but 30 days would be more appropriate if you can. You do not want to burn any bridges by just walking out.
Take a sick day off tomorrow and figure it out. No need to immediately sort this out or give him an ultimatum. Every action has a response - avoid co-opting other employees to leave or quit immediately. If it was me, I would make an exit plan and work around this issue for a little more time. That is, IF it isn't so painful that you need to be gone right away. Maybe, given the time to sleep on it, his best self will prevail and he will apologize.
Well I would if it was me in that situation. I will be putting job applications else where made sure I had the job then walked into his office and tell him exactly what you stated you should NEVER be treated like that don't care if you own the company or not you don't treat your 22nd in command like that and especially not in front of other employees. You have grounds for hostle working environment suit. An witnesses to back it up.
I study why companies thrive and fail over the short and long term, you know your capabilities and know how a business should run however in the presence of sole proprietor or owner with a thin skin is a problem this was a demonstrated abusive scenario.
My advice is to leave this employment the situation will not improve collect your endorsements from co workers and business contacts and find employment elsewhere.
Several years ago I worked for a small construction office as the Office Manager/Accountant and was the only female there. As many of you may know the language tends to be very colorful, to say the least, and the owner tended to shout obscenities at the crew when he was stressed about a project. For the most part, the men were respectful towards me, and I just shut my ‘ears’ when they were having their heated discussions. However, one day the owner found an error in something I did (I am only human), and started a tirade on me. It was towards the end of the day, so after he finished, I calmly shut down my station, gathered my belongings and left the office. The next morning, I arrived at the office early (the owner was usually the first person to arrive) to speak with him. I calmly told him that “his behavior towards me yesterday was unacceptable, no one…not even my husband…has the right to speak to me like that and if he ever did it again, it would be my last day working for him.” His response was to apologize, and this never happened again. I worked for him another two years.
I always feel the best approach is to honest and state your grievances as they occur, this is especially true when working in a small office.
Katie I worked at Wall street firms for a long time and unfortunately this kind of behavior was tolerated so I learned to stay focused on my work and goals and ignore it. Whe someone has outbursts like this it's not about you, he clearly has a problem. Don't take it personaaly, but start (quietly) planning an exit strategy. This is not to say I am condoning his behavior in any way but sometimes you need to adapt to survive especially when there are still so many people competing for jobs and willing to fill your shoes. Look at it this way, walking off, while it may give you immediate satification and send a message to this clod, unfortunately, has financial and other repercussions (re: waiving unemployment) and do you really want to have to explain this on an interview? I'm also not sure confronting someone like this actually accomplishes anything and if you tell him you will leave he might start looking for your replacement. I think your best bet is to maintain your composure and look for something else. Leaving him in the lurch without warning is the best revenge.
quit .. no matter wHat .. when a person don't appreciate your work .. then quit .. or you can calm down .. take a breathe an talk to him.. I know is sound like I'm on his side .. but no ..something they realize there mistake . Now if he don't realize his mistake .. then it's time to leave the company ...
No, don't walk out. Find some way to decompress. Even look for another job, but remember that it is generally better to have a job while job searching than not having a job. Maybe even organize your workers but don't just walk out. At least give notice and explain why. Your ability to work through a difficult and trying situation will say a lot about you as far as potential employers are concerned.
The knee jerk responsce would be yes, after telling him exactly what you feel about him.
The Businessman of today still seems that behavior is ok. In any position you have to put personal emotion out of it. Obviously the owner does not. Unfortunately today as a women in business you have to tolerate some of this behavior to play in their areana. Still a uphill battle to get your foot in the door. Yes women have come along way to be able to run, create, and manage large and small companies. The staff looks for you to help in this matter and are crying because it seems hopeless. If you need thos job and is this would be a great atepping stone for you, hold your tounge and carry on. Is he right , of course not. But its his business and he will not change hoa views for you. Only thing if he has a legal department have them explain what can happen if he does not tame the beast. Money talks a lot for men like this. Just put it dollars and cents that by agressive behavior is considered work place harrasment.
Well Katie he's lucky I Dont work there.people like that need a foot up their a....... So here's the deal nobody deserves being talked down to.not even the lowest of person on the pole.I would tell him in a calm matter Dont ever talk to me like that again.of course I'm telling you to say it like that.for me I probably wouldvd grabbed him by his tie and pulled upwards a bit.and probably included a few words like you little prick.gotten line Dont put up with that.
I would write down all the reasons why you are quiting and write down how you feel and how he made you feel and hand him the letter and quit. Go and file EEOC form, you had no choice but leave after being verbally put down ,humiliated ,disrespected and harassed and felt uncomfortable and intolerable . Move forward I'm sure you will find a better place to work and don't need to take anybody's attitude and crap, you have to respect yourself and love yourself otherwise no one will respect you, not to mention the employees will never look at you the same .
This manner of behavior is unacceptable in the work place or everyday life for that matter. What I recommend that you do immediately is document the day, date and time this matter took place, while it is still fresh in your mind. This is why labor laws exist in this country because of individuals that abuse their authority in such a manner. If you are a fighter, I recommend that you go outside of the company and report this to the EEOC and find out if you have a case against the employer for allowing this manner of conduct to be displayed. Of course, that is if the HR manager is aware of his actions. I also suggest that you find out if any of these employees will speak up on your behalf with a representative from the EEOC. Don't go by their word, get it in writing, along with signatures. This can be tricky because most people do not know their rights as employees and can back out at the last minute. If this happened the way you have stated and the employees are willing to back you, go for it. Just know that you will have a fight on your hands and you have to weather the storm. I know from personal experience and I came out on top when all was all was said and done. It was a major since of accomplishment for me, once the smoke cleared and the dust settled and I was the one standing. I don't think quitting is the answer. What happens if you are faced with this same situation with another employer, once you quit this job? Running gets easier each time,, you have to take a stand sooner or later. If anyone chooses to retaliate against any of the employees after a formal complaint has been made with the EEOC, that will only work in the favor of you and the employee. Document what was stated word for word and do not omit any of the vulgarities that he used, no matter how strong the language was. If you do not take a stand now, it will happen again because it is quite obvious he is not leading by example when it comes to his authority. Document, document, document and make the printer your friend. Once you document this in the computer, send it to your personal email address for your records as well. Give it some thought and you make the final decision.
Before making any rational decision, please ask yourself if at this time you will be eligible for unemploymwnt compensation if you should decide to quit. If the answer is No, then look to have a meeting with your boss to resolved this amicably. Now be on the look out for a new employment. If the answer to the question is Yes, and you have a strong case then you can quit and collect unemployment while you search for another position.
Is the individual the owner or hired employee? Is there an agreivence committee you can go to. Obviously this individual feels threatened by you as 2nd in command and they should be reprimanded by the HR or at worst fired. Not a professional manner of action. Condoning an angry animal is never a good idea. Wait til they cool off and approach them in front of the HR for the discussion of inappropriare behavior for a position of authority. All of this of course depends on the companies policy concerning discipline. However, if it's a small company and this is business as usual, I'd find a new more mature company to work for. Then again a good punch in the nose and telling them they would Never speak to you or the staff in that manner again or pack their bags and leave, sounds like a quick fix. :-)
In the position he is in cursing is wrong. If everyone heard him doing that. I would call corporate office and let them know. That next time you well file suit against him . If for any reason you end up getting fired or let go after that file suit. Against them and the guy. You well have a really good case. He is not aloud to use and curse words in his position towards any employee.
Go to him tell him that he does not have the right to talk to you like this way and tell him you are his employee not a servant you get paid against your work and services it's not like he gives you salary free of cost.and try to talk to him nicely no need to walk out or kick this job if you don't have another in your hand.stay there and be pain in the ass to him.that's the revenge walking away will make you more down stay there and make him feel bad.
Do Not leave or walk out.... you need to have a private meeting with the owner of the company. Let them know that you are an educate person and under no socumstanses should anyone speak to an employee that way. Stay on your grounds and demands an apology from them. After that be sure to star looking for new employment.
Don't walk out in a haste. Document everything that occurred. Ask for a meeting in a neutral public place so he can't try to humiliate you again. Tell him he undermined you in front of the whole staff and you can no longer be an effective leader. Unless of course he apologizes to you in front of the whole company and admit he was wrong. Continue to look for a new job but start saving hard in case this doesn't work out. This way you have something saved in case you can't find something right away.
Make sure you get witness statements from any and everyone that witnessed this incident, because from the way it sounds, if you go in to his office to confront him, he may fire you. This way, with the witness statements not only will you have substantial evidence for unemployment, but you would have hard evidence for a lawsuit if you felt so inclined. Good luck!
Sorry you had to go through such VERBAL ABUSE. It's up to you if you stay or not, my opinion...LEAVE, Yes he is the owner and will continue to treat employees badly. It seems to me you need this job, or you would of walked out. No One deserves VERBAL abuse in any work place, it brings moral down and. makes everyone question if they should continue employment with such an abusive atmosphere. Your a strong women to stand up for the other employees, however, this company is not a healthy place to work. Weigh your pros and cons...Dig deep in your heart and ask God for help and direction. You can't go wrong by following Jesus. Best of luck to you and know this will pass.
You should have a conversation with him but when you start the conversation let him know that you would appreciate him hearing you out before he responds. Be very professional, don't make it personal (even though he did) Tell him how he made you and others feel and what it had done to the workplace.
Depending on his response...positive -- another chance.
.negative ---give your notice
I know exactly what u mean Sweetie unfortunately I been through the same thing but I called him in the office and had a one on one talk.I told him that I needed the same respect as he gets from me that I will not ever be disrespect like that again. .So maybe try having a one and one talk with him and just let him know how u feel...
It is illegal to speak to an employee that way using profanity and making u feel below him..call EEOC equal employment opportunity centers in your area before u leave..once u report him they respond within a week in which he can't fire or ask u to resignation. Write down time and dates keep a log of what he's done once u have reported it they will contact him immediately if u feel uncomfortable or he does it again leave at that point they will make him pay you back pay etc., but make sure you put in your complaint with EEOC before you do anything! Good luck
Go to a labor attorney after you record or have a witness to back you up. Don't just walk out. I had a supervisor talk to me terrible Infront of contractors from Another company. I told him one on one not to speak to me that way again. This was second incident. I accepted his apology, but a year later he started again. His daddy owned the company so he thought he could do whatever he wanted. His anger was over work he was having at his home, not even about the business. After I tollerated his disrespect for over 20 years, he terminated me with out cause. Replaced with someone 20 years younger. I wish I had taken it to an attorney now. I did have employees willing to back me up. I was a very loyal company employee. Don't wait make a move now.
It not what you say but how you say it. When you do say it ask for a meeting. Show him by concrete work scenarios how the employee climate is affected by positive reenforcement. And calmly let him know that you do not condone how he spoke with you. That you don't mind being a sounding board for the leadership team, but as a member of that team, you can not and will not accept that behavior from him or anyone.
Don't give him an ultimatum. When you get a new job walk away gracefully. Professionalism on your part will send a strong message. He will look like the idiot he is.
You need to go to Equal employment opportunity centers in your area. That is illegal he can't speak to you with that type of language nor can he make you guys feel he's working in a hostile equipment. Whatever you do don't quit till you file your case with EEOC. He can't fire you even if he finds out you filed a complaint. Once you file and he continues then quit he will have to compensate you. There's laws in place for people like him to protect employees. Good luck!
If you want to leave, get another job first. Meanwhile, pray for his happiness and treat him with a smile. When people are happy, they treat other people better. When speaking to him, give him your full attention and always, always take notes about every conversation. Keep clear records about every encounter including date and time. Send an email after each encounter confirming what was said and what you understand from the conversation. Good luck. Also, this is abusive behavior and it will only get worse as time goes on, so please be careful. Again, praying for his happiness is the only way to
cure the problem.
Katie, my response is two-fold. If you approached him and he told you about a personal problem, would this change your opinion? Of course, he would have to still apologize to you in front of the entire office; secondly, you approach him and he is still belligerent, his outward behavior would be a sign that it's time to go. Obviously, approach him in the morning and see which way it goes. After managing people for 20 years, life happens and people take their problems out on whoever is closest at the moment...
Do not leave until you have another job. I was in a very similar situation and quit. It has been challenging to find a new position since the day I walked out.
That being said, I have never looked back. The hostile work environment I was subjected to on a daily basis was the awful.